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Old 03-27-2010, 07:29 PM
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RickPlus RickPlus is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 53

What prompted us to actually open our marriage.

For 15 years we COULD screw around but neither of us bothered. The reason was partly that we are heavy people and so sexy young things were not throwing themselves at us. But mainly, we were just very, very happy. The years of our marriage were the happiest time that Red and I have experienced in either of our lives. Also the sex was very good, we were not afraid to experiment. Finally, everyone knew we were married, and society stepped up to support monogamy by keeping those who might have been interested in us, at a polite distance.

After perhaps 10 years for me and maybe 12 or 13 years for Red, we started to want more however. First we were both bi-curious and that is not something we could try within the marriage obviously.

Second, my sex drive was about 3 times Red's. Often I would masturbate and she would hug me and keep me company which is loving and sweet. But I jacked off a lot on my own, and after 15 years I was bored with the mental fantasies I played in my head during this. I REALLY wanted some variety. She did too, maybe to a lesser extent.

Third, we both wanted children but we were not able to have them. Expanding our family to adopt one or more adults with kids, or finding a young woman who would like to have a child with us felt right.

Fourth, we lacked very close friends near by. We had time and love to spare, but most of Red's intimates were 3 hours away and across an international border. My circle of friends were close, but not that close.

Some things conspired to knock us out of a rut. Some friends we knew were poly in Seattle started inviting us to their tribe's get together when we were down there. It was nice seeing the warmth and intimacy of this group when we played games or watched movies. We learned more about polyamory and we both read "The Ethical Slut" which was recommended to us. And we started getting close to another couple locally who had an open marriage and seemed a bit interested in us.

This couple, we had started to hang around with because I was hoping that we could make more local friends for Red. It was a bit of a surprise when we found that they had an open marriage. I will call this couple, C1 (male) and C2 (female).
[[ By the way, I rolled a die to see if the guy or the gal would get the C1 spot. No superiority of the C1 or C2 position was intended or can be assumed.]]

Poly suddenly seemed to be much more in our mental space than it had been.

This February, C1 & C2 invited us and some of their friends to a dinner party. No big deal I thought. A chance to play some of the great German board games & visit. During the party, a striking young woman with great boobs, got a massage, naked. And after that, was walking about the house unclothed. 8-o

This was something Miss Manners had not prepared me for. Trying to be suave, I decided that staring at her was right out, obviously straining myself to NOT look at her likely would not be polite. So I settled on giving her (well deserved) appreciative glances from time to time but mainly paying attention to what I was doing. SELF GRADE: Passed with style.

Then C2 (the wife) and 2 of the guests disappeared. We were playing Rock Band with C1. I was very curious what was going on. Was this an intimate, sexual play party??? We hadn't been told it would be! Instead of asking C1, "Is this a party where people are screwing each other?" I wimped out and asked, "Where is C2?" His answer was a cross "I don't know!". Whoa! Is he pissed at me for asking an awkward question, for being stupid about what is going on, or is he mad because he doesn't approve of what she is doing? SELF GRADE: Failure - not at all suave.

Rest of the party I was polite, friendly & cool. Picked up a couple good points I think.

At the end of the party, everyone else left and C1 and C2 asked if we were poly. I was nervous and blathered on a bit about how sophisticated we were, how many poly families we knew, etc. A simple "Yes" would have served far better, but, in my defense, this is something I wanted to talk to Red about before answering. SELF GRADE: Failure - completely not suave.

Anyway, we made a date with C1 & C2 in a week, at their place again. I was very interested, but Red and I needed to talk.

If we were REALLY going to be poly, we had a sudden unexpected deadline.

Last edited by RickPlus; 03-27-2010 at 11:06 PM.
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