I know you're not trying to push RA on me or anyone else. I'm answering the way I am because I actually looked into this a little while ago for some of the same reasons you seem to be. You see, for me, once one agrees to a polyamorous relationship, they are also agreeing to let go of some mono normative ideas about sex and relationships. They have to. If they dont, neither they or their partner will be able to have healthy relationships with other people. Lots of people who identify as poly don't seem to let go of these ideals though, not entirely, and although they aren't monogamous they construct their relationships and have expectations that are in line with mono normative thinking. I see a big correlation in how much they let go of these ideals and the achievement rate of all people (who want to) in their network having successful relationships with other people.
Losing mono normative thinking means understanding that someone might have a friend who is just a friend that they have sex with and will probably be the only person they'd co parent with. It means understanding that someone's most "serious" relationship might be a person that lives far away and they only see twice a year although they live with two other romantic partners who they describe as "casual". It's understanding that someone you was once married to, might end up as a person you fuck when you're going through a dry spell. It's understanding that a person you meet and fuck in a club might end up your wife, or they might never see you again. Anything is possible and nothing that is harmless is wrong.
So basically, I think the people that have the most successful polyamorous relationships in my view, have the qualities and general ethos that RA promotes. If you like, that's twue poly.
Last edited by london; 11-25-2013 at 01:36 PM.