Coming home from being away for so long is a tricky one. Everyone wants a piece of you... I have a child and he gets mummy first before anyone. Unfortunately for you and your situation it sounds like you aren't at a point yet where you can all be together in this situation. If it were me I would be gathering my loves around me as much as I can and see all of them at once. But then we are well settled right now... at least the two men in my life anyway, not so much yet with others.
Poly is tricky for some as it requires being compassionate all the time to those that you are dating. Not everyone can do that I don't think. Sure there are some relationships I know of that aren't that deep and could sustain being more self centered rather than the constant giving of oneself that some poly relationships are like. The kind of poly I live has no room for me to be self centered. I have a responsibility to make sure that everyone is okay and that I haven't forgotten the needs of anyone. That is tough work and I am not always good at that. I don't pretend to be. For me, it is important to be good at it, that is my goal and it means that I put me first in order to achieve it... nothing makes me happier than knowing that everyone feels content... they of course work very hard at being content also and give a lot to that over all atmosphere.
Sometimes I have to be very honest with my partners when another texts me or requires a phone call or some kind of acknowledge of something. They all know that I would do the same for them and respect the others enough to know that I can be shared without them feeling abandoned. If it gets to that point then I would hope they would tell me.
Your situation sounded a bit third wheelish to me and I am sorry to hear that. I hope that it has been resolved... and not by being taken out for dinner etc, but that you talked about it....
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