Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
It sounds (you haven't said a lot here so if I'm wrong I apologize) as though you are creating relationships with people who aren't interested in LONG TERM HIGHLY COMMITTED relationships. Of course there are LOTS of those types of people in polyamorous circles, there are LOTS of those types of people in monogomous circles as well.
BUT-there are many of us who REQUIRE the long-term, highly committed relationships IN POLYAMORY as well. Some of us are just not as fast to "jump in" to sexually involved relationships just because the "chemistry" is there because we want more than just the chemistry.
Maybe you are taking offers that don't REALLY fit what you are looking for?
It's not so much the duration of my relationships that I'm having difficulty with. Right now, I'm feeling the early pangs of loss because my current relationship really feels like it's on the way out, and sure I've had other relationships that ended too quickly, but for the most part I don't feel like I have a lot of problems keeping a relationship going.
What I have difficulty with is finding other people to date. It shouldn't be difficult in my area to find poly people - I live in the San Francisco bay area for goodness sake - but all of the poly girls have tightly packed schedules already. I hate it when I'm trying to schedule a date with a girl for three weeks and she has no time to see me because she has three other lovers... but all of a sudden she calls me up on a Thursday afternoon and says "Hey, my date tonight canceled on short notice, are you free for coffee?" That makes me feel really unimportant and sends me mixed signals.
There's already a poor male:female ratio in my area, and I feel like being poly magnifies that. If there's one woman to every three men in the poly community, then maybe I should give up on that community?
I just don't want to feel like I'm begging at the table for emotional scraps.