I think that it all depends on the people and dynamics involved. I think our set-up works better than expected because Dude and MrS are best friends as well as metamours (and were before the Vee formed). In addition, neither is homophobic or has "personal space" issues.
Some people need more "personal space" than others. Some people are uncomfortable sleeping (i.e. actual sleeping) with people that they wouldn't have sex with. (Whereas we are all ok with sharing a bed with anybody we are close enough to to invite to our private dwelling...or random people that are "not creepy"). Sleeping/bed-sharing =/= sex/intimacy for me/us.
In the long-term - people have their own preferences. Dude is fine sharing any and all things and does not find the lack of "personal space" constricting. I'm the most "restrictive" - I don't want people in my house if I am not willing to let them peruse my "stuff". MrS is somewhere in between...
PS. We are are excellent sleepers...we can sleep anywhere, anytime, with any people...8-10-12 hours - no problem. We tease each other that we are training for the "Interspecies Sleep Olympics" (MrS and my terrier, M, are competing for the "reigning champion" title...)
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 11-25-2013 at 12:30 AM.