I agree with the others.
Welcome to the polymath.
A polyship is made up of all the mini relationship inside it. Whether the people relating are friends,metas, lovers, or a combo. The polyship at large cannot fly well if mini relationships inside it are going hungry for ____.
When you go from a V to a triad? You have tripled your V's.
In a V, there is one hinge person.
In a triad, it's basically 3 hinges. Three V's laid over each other. The number of "mini relationship" has now increased!
The problem is that as a result of focusing on my relationship with her I'm feeling a disconnection from my partner.
how do I prevent the disconnection from my love while still trying to keep my heart open to his OSO?
- You review your time management. Are you not spending the time you need in the right places and that cause the upset? Or expecting yourself to be in two places at once causing the upset?
You review your emotional management. Is everything ok for the stage you are in and you are THINKING it isn't and "should be" something else -- and that's causing the upset?
- You make time to spend with your love connecting. Even if that means changing some focus time spent with her or other activities you do. Or changing some expectations of how "fast" things might happen -- time is a finite human resource. It may be nothing can change right now (ex: work schedules limit free time) but later it could change. (ex: different work schedule coming 3 months later).
- You ask your love if he's willing to meet your connection needs and set the time aside to cultivate that. And you ask for which specific connection needs you are talking about. Circle from list if you cannot articulate on your own.
It's a lot easier to feel happy for your love and the new partner P in the (love + P) tier of the polymath if in the (love + you) layer your connection needs are being met. You could review poly hell
and guard against those kinds of problems by talking it over ahead of time with all your people.