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Old 11-24-2013, 05:32 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,747

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Is there a point to starting all these relationships knowing they're likely to end within a couple of years? What is the point? Is it worth the constant cycle of heartbreak and endings? Maybe to some, it is.
From my perspective it is still the "expectations" that trip things up - which is why I generally don't have any.

For instance:

I am never "looking" for a relationship so I never think about "starting" one. I sometimes find myself IN relationships of various forms (friendships, familyships, romanicships, sexualships) but the "form" doesn't define the relationship - the people and their interactions create the relationship. It is what it is - it doesn't have to "go" anywhere to be successful - it only has to be satisfying to the people involved.

Having said that, I am very, very "emotionally reserved." I have never experienced the "heartbreak and endings" that are referenced here - but I wouldn't make myself that emotionally vulnerable until it was already clear that the relationship was already "committed" (by this I mean that it is the intention of everyone involved to address problems as they arise, communicate needs/wants, and find solutions that work for everyone - not just run off when the going gets tough or a "new shiny" person comes along).

For me, to reach that level of comfort (to let down my emotional guard) doesn't happen until after the NRE wears off...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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