Originally Posted by Magdlyn
It's spelled Wiccan.
Yes, of course it's possible to be "on the rebound" if you're poly. If you're in a relationship of any kind that goes sour and there is a breakup, you need time to recover. You could stop and think if you need time to recover from your short-lived relationship with the young and sexy KW, for example, before jumping into anything with your husband's gf's husband. (Not to mention, quads are graduate level relationships. For example, what if you start something with this guy, but it doesn't work. How will that affect your h's relationship with his gf?)
Speaking of rebounding, I had a short-lived thing with a guy this summer who was more unbalanced than I knew. We had some PMing, a few long phone calls and then a lunch date. However, a couple days after our first date, he tried to kill himself. I didn't hear from him for a couple weeks. His phone went straight to voicemail. He didn't answer texts or PMs. I finally read on one of his dating profiles, what happened. That experience kind of freaked me out and put me right off trying to date ever since. (I mean date anyone besides my 2 primary sweeties.)
that is definitely true (the bold). i doubt h and gf have even thought about that side. gf may, as her metamour from hub is their massage therapist who comes to their home for over the last 2 years and she has been dating SG for about 2 to 3 months now.
i do know i have no expectations aside from getting to know SG. we're meeting for drinks then going back to their place (um I can't pass up a large pool and hot tub). even though this is dh's first relationship since this journey started i know i'm ok if he and SG go off for lovings while at their house, i just hope SG will hang out so i'm not sitting there twiddling my thumbs.
MG told DH last night that her husband is the slowest "mover" (in getting a relationship going) on earth and DH told her I was the "fastest". Meeting SG will be good for me.
Yeah, I still think about KW. When we had met and I had the understanding it would be casual, I think I wouldn't have crushed so hard, so fast. Emotionally on the surface I'm fine less than a week later but images of him still appear in my head. And I don't want SG to be my rebound nor do I want to be his rebound. Most good SG's a slow mover, at least then we can get to know each other, let a connection form if it is there, not to be pushed because of outside expectations (DH & SG).
I am so sorry about the short-lived from this summer. That is awful and not knowing he had some issues, what a blow. I can see how that will have a long term effect on wanting to meet new people for love or even sex.