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Old 11-23-2013, 08:29 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I'm rolling my eyes over the temper tantrum of "black/white/brown etc". Seriously?
Words are labels-but they are most importantly labels to make communication possible. Which means that by their nature they are NOT exact. It's something we have to accept in order to have a damn conversation.
That said:
Well first of all, what would you say the point is? Is it that we need to talk more about culture, and less about skin color? Is it additionally that all individuals are unique people and can't be expected to conform to some stereotype about their "race?"
The point of anything thread is defined by the original poster. Of course-anyone who wants to make an unrelated point, could start their own post.

So again, it sounds to me like the point is that all people are unique and individual and not necessarily at all a product of their "stereotypical racial culture."
Or, they aren't a product of the culture that they may APPEAR to be.
My boyfriend APPEARS to be white and easily "slips under the radar" as BEING white. But the truth is that he IS Chinese/white mixed. His grandmother was OBVIOUSLY Chinese.
My oldest child is obviously not "white" like I am. But she is generally assumed white by most people. However, she is Puerto Rican and identifies VERY STRONGLY with that part of her heritage.
My youngest child is part Chinese and no one can tell.
My nearest and dearest are various shades of black. Furthermore-they all prefer "black". Not "brown" or "African American". They PREFER their race designation to be BLACK. Enough so that when some dingbat threw a tizzy fit over how "African American" was the more approrpiate term-they flipped their lids, lost their marbles and flew off the handle over how they ARE NOT FROM AFRICA.
One of them-had me smiling and I probably will continue to smile over this for some time, pointed out that his mother is into geneology. THEIR FAMILY WAS NOT FROM AFRICA for so many generations-she can't FIND proof that they EVER WERE. Meaning-it didn't happen anytime in the last 15+ generations! So the whole "African-American" is so ridiculous to their family, they KNOW their geneology. They weren't brought to America as slaves. They weren't brought to America. They traveled here as free men from Europe, where they were also free men. *and yes when I say men I also mean women.

I guess we need to start talking about brown-skinned people that we know.
Already started that. But, really-I think posters need to understand that whatever YOUR PERSONAL PREFERRED TERM IS-that DOES NOT make it THE prefered term. There is no world-wide preferred term. So stop turning the board upside down in an effort to force other posters to use the term you like. If KDT says black and white-it is his right-unless the moderators tell him it is not.
IF another poster feels that there is some sort of abusive name calling or other rule breaking behavior in his posts they can PM A MODERTOR to handle it.
***** Moderator hat on****** Using the terms "black", "white", "colored", is not breaking any rule on this forum currently.

*****Mod hat off.******
Unfortunately for me, I hardly know any (especially in the here and now). The few I ever got to know all lived in Detroit. And I never got to know them well enough to hear about what influenced their upbringing, aunts, grandmothers, etc.; I think their background was strictly American but it's possible some may have had some foreign influence in their background.
It is absolutely not necessary to be personally acquainted to any group in order to be an ally to them. Nor should anyone suggest it. It is important to respect the preferences of individuals within a group you want to help, if they speak up on a personal preference in how you deal with THEM. But it's not necessary to actually be personally acquainted to take a step towards introduction and inclusion to anyone.

****Moderator hat back on******
IN FACT-the purpose of this board is inclusion and acceptance to a collection of different minority groups. It would be to the benefit of ALL posters (and lurkers) if the people who are choosing to post remember, that their personal beliefs, ideas, preferences, opinions etc are NOT THE end all, be all. That this is a meeting place for multiple groups of people with SOMETHING in common, though not necessarily much in common. Treating each other with the ASSUMPTION that no harm is intended would go a long way to fostering better understanding.
*****Mod hat back off*****

These folks weren't looking for any offensive thing I might say so they could pounce on it. They got that I was "fair-skinned and from the stereotypical Utah culture," and they tolerated and accepted that in me.
This is key for all people to be able to mix with others who don't share a commonality of any type.

I just hope I can help brown-skinned (and any-color-skinned, from any culture) persons feel as welcome amongst "the majority race" (e.g. fair-skinned) as they made me feel.
You have made this clear in your posts, repeatedly. I find it frustrating and offensive that instead of moving from the stance of this good intention, anyone, would react by tearing apart your terminology. ESPECIALLY on a board that is multicultural and world-wide-therefore ensuring that there is no ABSOLUTE common accepted terminology.

Do they ever push fair-skinned guys like myself away, or is it usually the fair-skinned people and cultures that are pushing them away?
It goes both ways. Some people push others away. Others "suck them in with love" so to speak. That happens in all races. But I think it's always good when anyone, of any race or culture can extend that loving kind of suck towards others of different cultures.

"Well, maybe the good old stereotypes are as good a starting point as any; hopefully we can proceed to the stereotypes' many exceptions from there.
Stereotypes are often based in truth, but magnified into exaggerations. They aren't a terrible place to start if you lack knowledge. In fact-NO PLACE is a terrible place to start moving towards connection with others. Even if someone starts out as a total bigoted jerk-off, if they are moving towards connection and caring-wonderful. The starting place is what it is. It's the journey that matters.

Also-stereotyping isn't prejudice. ALL people stereotype. It's a necessity in life. i refuse to go into the lengthy explanation as to why-but anyone wanting to look into it can look up social psychology David G. Meyers and find information on precisely that topic.
Stereotyping CAN lead to prejudice and discrimination. Prejudice can lead to stereotyping.
But they are different and they don't always lead to one another.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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