View Single Post
Old 11-23-2013, 06:39 PM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

KW was short lived. I probably screwed it up by being too intense about my feelings. Was sort of hard not to since he led me to believe he really wanted a relationship and it wasn't going to be casual for him. I now have another new item for my list of preferences. If under 30, consider the guy to be a potential fwb who I'll enjoy the fun with and pleasure a young man can provide (the sex was awesome with KW). I forgot how "boys" fuck, like bunnies.

DH and MG are going full bloom, very much falling for each other and definitely serious. Tomorrow night we are going out for drinks with her and her husband. It's a full circle, in a way. I "liked" her husband, SG, on okc back in late July/early August (he me at the same time). I can't remember if he sent me a message then or not (I think he did) but because we were new to poly, working through jealousy/envy and doing a lot of communicating, I never replied. It wasn't I didn't find him interesting, but what was the point if DH was having issues then.

SG and MG have been poly for many, many years. SG is in a relationship with their massage therapist who is mono, is very emotional about their relationship and from what MG's discussed with DH, breaking it off. SG and I started messaging on OKC this week. Lots of chit chat, banter and teasing. He asked how my poly life was going: slow was my response. He stated he is transitioning with SA (his girlfriend). Always interesting to me how "gossip" works...SG tells MG one thing, she tells DH who tells me...some where along the way what was originally decided between SG & SA has been lost in translation.

I am enjoying the messaging with SG (a bit just like KW's and mine had been). Basics, not much about our interest in each other (it is there or neither of us would be getting to know each other). LOL what started it was DH has been wanting me to meet both of them together. On Thursday she gave us his username on okc, I looked him up and then said to DH "I gave him 5 stars" and looked to see how long ago. Later that night SG sent me a message. We've been chatting since then (except today, he's out hunting and has his evening with SA). He keeps telling me we need to save the conversations for Sunday.

I met MG last Sunday when she met DH outside the gym when he dropped me off. She was in our town on her way to a wikan (not sure spelling) gathering and wanted to see DH. Nice opportune time since I had to, no needed to workout as the breakoff with KW was really screwing with me. She hugged me and is really nice. I could see my metamour and I being close friends (but I have told DH this needs to happen naturally, I don't want it pushed on me).

Then I had plans with KB for yesterday (he would be a fwb) but he couldn't get a sitter so we've rainchecked for another time. Might not be until the new year. SG asked me when my date was (boy it's funny cuz i never told him about my date but DH told MG and viola SG knows) and I replied cancelled. LOL SG's response "that's bullshit".

Okay back to my thoughts about meeting tomorrow night. DH asked me what I would be comfortable with, him touching kissing me and MG both or only one of us. I am not really sure. I'm not sure DH's and MG's intention of us all meeting aside from meeting his girlfriend's husband or if DH & MG are trying to set me and SG up to date. I'm thinking the latter. I've been visualizing tomorrow and I guess we'll just let pda happen organically without expectations.

And this week we told CT (our oldest child who will be 16 in Jan) about polyamory. DH was worried. He knew intellectually she could handle it but was worried emotionally not. CT and I have such a good mother-daughter relationship and (makes me think of a post in the relationships corner about "controlling" spouse but even kids future sex lives) I've always discussed things with her. When we decided to have kids, my philosophy was honesty (not detail by detail sex activities) and just tell the kids exactly how it is. She and I have watched shows like Big Love and this British one called Skins together. But I had been worried she wouldn't understand polyamory a few weeks ago. She likes this boy but he's a huge flirt. She said she decided to stop liking him because she wouldn't want to have to deal with being jealous (see my kid knows herself well and is a 4.15 gpa student). They are now trying to hang out with each other after school when he returns from Thanksgiving vacation (kids get all next week off). So we brought her into our room, (the look on her face was "oh no, they're going to tell me they're getting divorced") and I said, "dad and I love each other very much but we also have the ability to love others, it's called polyamory. Our love for you will never change but it's time you know since dad has a girlfriend he's pretty serious about and I, I have a few guys I'll be seeing here and there".

LOL her response "well a year ago you told me you were "open" and both of you have dating apps on your phone". DH was shocked she knew about that, he thought she couldn't see it lol. So the feared conversation went great. All three of us (CT, DH and I) discussed when to tell her younger brother (he's 8) and for now, he's not emotionally ready. The youngest is two so she'll be growing up around our "openness" in our home.

Well I hope tomorrow SG and I click because I've enjoyed our banter so far. I am a tad bit leary though if he is transitioning from a break-up that if we do go beyond friend's that I'm more of the rebound but is that possible if you are poly to rebound? I've never thought about that aspect. It seems like rebounding is not applicable as it is for a mono who goes through a breakup.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 11-23-2013 at 06:42 PM.
Reply With Quote