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Old 11-22-2013, 09:30 PM
Eponine Eponine is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 123

Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
I wasn't thinking "fwb" or "nsa" or, heaven forbid, "random women" . . . just different degrees and kinds of friendship and affection and companionship. For me, at least, dropping narrow categories and their expectations has made it more possible to be poly and yet sane.
I think I understand what you mean. As a relationship anarchist, I also like the idea of dropping narrow categories and their expectations, and instead just letting each relationship evolve naturally into whatever form makes sense to us. I don't get why lack of full-time romantic commitment has to mean "fwb" or "nsa" - there are many shades of grey when it comes to relationship styles!

I think it's important to understand there are different types of commitment - commitment to sharing a life together, commitment to treating each other as a top priority, commitment to spend X amount of time together, or just commitment to maintaining a relationship as long as it works, etc. You can take any combination of these. For me, the last kind of commitment is all I need. We value our relationships and intend to make them work for as long as possible, but meanwhile, our relationships may look like "just friendship" from the outside. But we don't care whether our relationships fit in the society's narrow categories, as long as we're happy.
Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 11-22-2013 at 09:37 PM.
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