Originally Posted by thunkybunny
'[B] After all, a new partner chosen wisely and lovingly can become an additional family member.
Very true in some cases...but a wisely chosen sheep to add to the herd can also quickly turn into a wolf. This isn't poly exclusive, it happens in all relationships. Look at the person who marries the love of their dreams who after the ceremony becomes a controlling abusive spouse. The abuser's act is so complete that even the sharpest of people can be fooled from time to time and often it takes outside eyes to see what is happening...I.E. family members.
Restraining orders are a form of veto and serve the purpose to protect. Do we blame the person who needs protection for not "chosing better"? Are they the perpetrator of putting themselves into that situation or a victim?