View Single Post
Old 11-22-2013, 04:44 AM
Piroska's Avatar
Piroska Piroska is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 90

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
He shouldn't be on the internet with poorly setup security settings if he has any sense of privacy.
I agree
You have your privacy set, he doesn't.. maybe show him how to lock it down.
I brought it up nicely before we had the argument that inspired the first post in this thread. He did not agree with my precautions, nor methods. So that's a non starter.
Never, including you, have an expectation of privacy when on the web. Someone can always find something. Its an unfortunate truth of existing on the web.
This is true. Which is why I try not to have unreasonable expectations - and merely try to keep things reasonably separated such that it would take some effort to put the pieces together, and assume most people aren't going to have the time or skill or interest to try to actually put it all together.
I know I don't answer the emotional question.. but my answer is implied in my opinion about the internet. Not to mention my immediate head goes "red flag" for this kind of stuff. While I am not nosey, someone telling me not to do something that actually won't hurt anyone, is like a red button. What the heck is he hiding.. NDA, other partners etc. Not a fan of the rule both logically or emotionally.
What does NDA mean? is it like DADT? You mention red flags - this is my biggest issue right now. I want so badly to believe that everything he's telling me is absolutely true, but the spikes of fury over something that it seems like anyone at all could see - public OKCupid profile? publicly shared photos of his kid? etc... plus some other pieces of info he's withheld on purpose... just bothers the hell out of me. I cannot for the life of me figure out if I'm overreacting (it wouldn't be the first time) or if these are really warning signs.
Read some of your other posts, sounds like it was a deal breaker. Sorry to hear that, but its a deal he shouldn't "need" and you shouldn't "need" to follow.
It "impinged on a dealbreaker"... and he says that most of him wants to just say "done" now, but a small part of him says "not yet"... so he'll give me another chance, but if I cross the line again, even inadvertently, "there won't even be a goodbye" which I HATE. Not even tell me? Just cut off communication? So I feel like I need to withdraw, myself, because I'm in a minefield. Who knows where info about his kids might be posted? I've discovered one ex posts photos publicly! What about the other? So even if I don't go looking for something I could run into it. And then what?

It would probably save me some heartache if I cut my losses now, but I don't want to do it because I really care about him, and I believe he really cares about me. I feel like there's a chance we could work out. Maybe that's just my wishful thinking talking.
current relationships:
Guy - Dom/husband
Minx - sort of dating
Cru - (no longer dating)
Lee - Guy's girlfriend
Reply With Quote