Idealist Poly Blog part 1
Welcome!! This blog is an effort to sort out my thoughts and feelings about my personal journey and to share with others for entertainment and to offer support and validation. The names have been changed for anonymity. Any feedback is welcome.
Born and raised in the Deep South, I am a 52 year old single female, and I’ve never been married. Living alone for 10 years now, I have created a life that works for me. At this time in my life, I have 4 male lovers and a female friend that I would like to eventually call my lover.
At the age of 16, I wanted to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend of almost 2 years, but he was either too scared due to inexperience and not knowing what to do, or his Catholic upbringing had convinced him that it was wrong. No matter what the reason, he broke up with me- probably because of the pressure. I was very disappointed and felt grief, sadness and confusion upon losing him. That was when my virginity seemed like a burden rather than anything special or desirable, so I had sex for the first time with a stranger just to get it over with.
A year later, I hooked up with a 21 year old guy and lived with him for 4 years. It was a very sexual relationship and we would occasionally have sex with other couples that we knew. It was quite exhilarating for me, having been extremely sheltered in my life up to that point. I enjoyed the spontaneity of the lifestyle and often felt an underlying sense of tension and anticipation of what would happen next. We would develop close friendships with other couples and those connections would usually become sexual. I eventually outgrew the relationship and left it when I was 21.
For the following 10 years, I was single with lots of friends. I found myself initiating sexual connections with friends, (male and female) as well as creating environments which felt safe for groups to have sexual experiences. Even now, I occasionally run into someone who remembers me because they had been invited to a group gathering over 25 years ago!
Last edited by idealist; 05-19-2010 at 02:52 AM.