Originally Posted by london
It's common because sex between females is often thought to be "not real sex" because it doesn't involve a penis. On top of that, lots of men get sexual gratification from the knowledge or witnessing of lesbian sex, so if they get something out of the fact their "little lady" is having relations with someone else, it's all good, but if they don't get anything from it, it is an issue. The other common reason men are okay with their women having same sex relations is because they don't feel a woman could replace them as a primary style partner because like, he's a man and shit. So even if the woman does feel strongly for a girlfriend, that girlfriend won't replace or displace him for roles such as co parent or co owner/tenant, because like, women can't fulfill the role that men do.
So as common as this view might be, it is often based on homophobic, sexist and patriarchal beliefs that many of us would not tolerate in a partner.
Fair enough to analyze all this, but I am coming here to work through why I have my feelings I do, and get some guidance, possibly re-assurance that I am making some progress (or not), as poly is new to me. Definately not here to be consider homophobic. I'm extremely left wing, consider love and sex between people to be beautiful regardless of it being hetro, gay, etc...This is about learning to read my gut and figure out my feelings...