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Old 11-21-2013, 08:34 PM
Doleshalvik Doleshalvik is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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Default Importance of Not Forcing Polyamory on Others

I don't know how unrealistic fears of this sort actually are, but they do exist.
As for the resistance to Same-sex marriage over this sort of thing, it has definitely been real and been a force to contend with. I don't have the information at my fingertips, but I was told by people in the thick of things that much of the delay in getting same-sex marriage legalized in places like extremely liberal Rhode Island, Maine, Vermont, and Maryland was they had to specifically write passages into the law that exempted religious groups from being forced to conduct such ceremonies, and it evidently took several years of haggling before they could work out the wording that was explicit enough to satisfy the churches.And until they did, even many of the strong supporters of gay marriage would not endorse the proposed legislation.

The way nearly all by-laws of churches are written, anyone who is a member in good standing has the right to use the church for their own wedding for a nominal fee, and have the church minister preside. Technically, that means if a pair of closeted gays who were members suddenly applied to use their Baptist Church building for their gay wedding, and insisted the local pastor perform it, the church would be legally obliged to let them do so, or face a lawsuit.Such things have happened.

For polyamory, the fear seems to be of a subtler form, but it's there. Much of it seems to revolve around the fears and insecurities about what one's "committed monogamous" partner would do if polyamory were an acceptable option - would they stay monogamous with you, or want to be involved with others? There is an unacknowledged fear that the only thing that makes many people agree to be in monogamous relationships in the first place is that the surrounding society has severe taboos on every other kind of relationship. The implication is that if you remove that cultural taboo and fear and shame, guilt, and embarrassment associated with it, few people would still agree to monogamy. If so, that would make it much harder for those who are wanting to have monogamy to find a suitable and willing partner who would allow monogamy to be enforced on them, and/or to keep an established monogamous relationship going.

How realistic those fear are is difficult to say, but they do seem to lurk beneath a significant portion of the more noble-sounding and abstract philosophical and high-minded moral objections that some people make against polyamory.

Last edited by Doleshalvik; 11-21-2013 at 08:38 PM.
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