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Old 11-21-2013, 08:00 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Honestly I would stop some of the coddling. Requesting texts etc doesn't end up making it easier for you, it just creates an environment of finding surrogate changes that may make it easier

I travel for work, quite simply my wife just had to get used to it. In fact she prefers sleeping without me there now, its quite awesome. She didn't have to sleep in specific positions, didnt need to worry about my sleep.. nothing. She just spreads out and sleeps.

Once she got over that initial hump, it has been better. I text her good night etc. But both of us know not to interupt the others sleep or fun stuff.
Tonight he's having an overnight. I actually am going to only ask for a text when he arrives. In the past he'd give me play by play interactions and it drove me crazy. I don't need to know what they are doing. That's his and her thing. I requested he not text me while he's there. I really don't need it. It doesn't upset me jealousy/envy wise but actually bothers me that he's not focusing on her 100%. My compersion is at an all time high for him, but I want there relationship to be theirs alone.

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
It sounds like possibly, you are also talking about the reconnection phase post other partners. I can't relate since I don't feel that need, so can't speak to that specifically. However, as the recipient of the post sex reconnect request, I don't like when partners have asked for that, it feels wrong to me. Like they are trying to take away what I had the night before. Competing for the scent or smell on my clothes or body. It wigged me out and was something else we worked on eliminating over time.
For me, I prefer to not have that time with my other taken away from. I think DH has an interpretation of how poly is suppose to make our relationship better. IT can but I want to savor, like you said, the smell/scent of the other on my body and think about them. It's not like "hey I'm home and I can flip the switch off and be 100% about you this very second". And I don't expect him to do that either.

Thanks for your view point. He's just going to have to get use to sleeping on his own when I'm not there. I have and it's actually nice to be in the bed alone, sprawled out.

Thank you Ariakas!

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 11-21-2013 at 08:05 PM.
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