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Old 11-21-2013, 01:23 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,038

Originally Posted by london View Post
I don't think you intend to do that, so relax with trying to force a friendship/relationship. Let that grow on it's own.
Agreed. I'm friendly with my metamour, but I know she initially wanted our relationship to be more of a BFF/sisterly one, and I felt a LOT of pressure about it, to the point where, when we would get together, I'd feel like it wasn't just us getting together and enjoying each others' company, but more of a milestone to be checked off on the "BFF schedule" - are we there yet? It made me not want to get together at all.

Not saying you're doing that at all, but it's something to be aware of - any of your metamours (or even you) may end up feeling the same way, and they may need to back off a bit. That's okay. Let it be what it'll be.

Ratcheting it back to an easy relationship among yourselves and letting it grow organically may help take some of that focus off, so you can apply it elsewhere.

Good luck!
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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