View Single Post
Old 11-21-2013, 01:23 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 657

Originally Posted by london View Post
I don't think you intend to do that, so relax with trying to force a friendship/relationship. Let that grow on it's own.
Agreed. I'm friendly with my metamour, but I know she initially wanted our relationship to be more of a BFF/sisterly one, and I felt a LOT of pressure about it, to the point where, when we would get together, I'd feel like it wasn't just us getting together and enjoying each others' company, but more of a milestone to be checked off on the "BFF schedule" - are we there yet? It made me not want to get together at all.

Not saying you're doing that at all, but it's something to be aware of - any of your metamours (or even you) may end up feeling the same way, and they may need to back off a bit. That's okay. Let it be what it'll be.

Ratcheting it back to an easy relationship among yourselves and letting it grow organically may help take some of that focus off, so you can apply it elsewhere.

Good luck!
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono, in an LTR with Chops
Chops (previously known as 'P'): partner and best friend. Poly. In LTRs with me and Xena, and dating Noa.
Xena (previously known as M1): My metamour, Poly. Also in an LTR with Chops. Dating Noa and some others.
Noa (previously AG): Dating Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread:
A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Reply With Quote