Originally Posted by Honestheart
but once again... the whole problem here isn't necessarily just the veto rule, its the lack of communication. vetos can work, but in my opinion they are messy situations and it is better to simply be open and honest and communicative with all parties involved. and also to explore, why are you "vetoeing" in the first place? are your reasons for insecurities? if it is for insecurity then a veto rule is dangerous ground...
yes, I think if it is for insecurity then veto's are dangerous... our issue was that we have a high level of communication and the woman my husband was dating didn't, and was interested in something casual but wasn't telling him that. I saw this, or suspected this and he didn't, he was blissfully in his NRE. I told him after much discussion and argument that I thought he needed to find out for himself and if I was right I saw it in the best interest of our family for him to end it... he just isn't a casual sex kind of guy (I know, bizarre
) He thought about it all night and told me in the morning he had written to her to set a time to meet her and tell her it's over.
Her response to him ending it was, "ah, I won't get to fuck you anymore then
" That was not his intent in the first place, he loved her and was showing her that, by doing sexual things with her because of that, not because he liked fooling around. he doesn't operate that way. He was heart broken and she just shrugged her shoulders.
Neither of us had insecurities...
yet I found it necessary to be firm with him about looking at what it was all doing to him... and as a result us.