I hate even thinking it Ė but right now, this poly relationship just feels like an added stress. I donít think either of them really seem to grasp how out of sorts I am, though Iíve tried to say it.
Show them this post. It is very thoughtful and clear to me what your needs are in all of this. Just make sure you are open to their needs as well within reason.
This is part of the dynamics of Poly relationships I will have to understand better myself before I bring Poly up with my wife. I don't know how I would handle this either since it is essentially a divorce.
I hope your body heals and your soul can find peace with where you are right now. Someone else also mentioned the possibilty of opening yourself back up to her and allowing her to be there for you as your husband is emotionally and supportive in this rough time.
You are not a bad person at all. You are going through a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. I think your needs are very appropriate and clear.