Still might be worth asking him those first three Yes/No questions
. Hard to imagine how the worst communicator on Earth could find those impossible to answer. He just needs to drum up a Yes or a No (or a lengthier answer explaining why it's neither Yes nor No, if he's up for the more advanced challenge).
For example, given a green light (a Yes) on all three questions, you could at least conclude that your relationship with your boyfriend was on good enough ground to make the search for a poly companion a relatively safe bet. Once you find the right poly companion for you, then, hopefully that'll be someone who's a lot better at sharing words of affirmation with you, and then you won't have to "nag" your first boyfriend about it so much.
And I still think printing up the thread (as-is so far) and having the counselor look it over with an eye for clues and details is a good idea. Not to mention the multiple perspectives here from multiple points of view should help shed a 3D light on the issues at hand.
Much luck wished to you both,