Originally Posted by JadeDoor
Our marriage history makes me feel more stubborn about this. I feel like for four years and I gave and gave and got nothing in return. It's only been in this past year that Neverwhere started to give back too and participate in our marriage. And he'd be the first one to admit that to you. There was an affair when I was pregnant, verbal abuse, physical intimidation, a drug and alcohol history... all of which we worked on in therapy and got through but ... I am still resentful at times and I guess I feel like this is just one more decision being forced upon me.
Whoa, back up! Red Fags here! There is no "got through" with spousal abuse and substance abuse, it is a constant ongoing struggle. It's very easy to slip back into bad habits of the past when things get stressful or we are felling insecure and out of control. Sounds like you guys need back into counseling ASAP. Deal with these aspects now before it get worse.