View Single Post
  #21  
Old 11-18-2013, 09:22 PM
JadeDoor's Avatar
JadeDoor JadeDoor is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 94
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post

Here's another option: See this as a man who is hurting rather than viewing him as some patriarchal goon 'telling you what to do.' Most people wouldn't agree to their spouse sleeping with someone else in the first place. Most wouldn't even agree to TRY. Let alone sleep with their sibling.
I agree with you and I have tried to view it that way. What I don't understand is WHY he's hurting when this was something that was acceptable a couple months ago. Now that Mark and I are involved and it's complicated and hearts will be broken, Neverwhere wants me to magically decide on my own that I don't want to date Mark anymore.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
But what it boils down to is this: it's causing a great deal of harm in YOUR marriage, regardless of what is normal. What I'm trying to tell you is, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks is normal, because they're not the ones who are going to have to face the fallout, either way. YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR CHILDREN are the ones who will have to live with the consequences, not any of us strangers on a forum.
Our marriage history makes me feel more stubborn about this. I feel like for four years and I gave and gave and got nothing in return. It's only been in this past year that Neverwhere started to give back too and participate in our marriage. And he'd be the first one to admit that to you. There was an affair when I was pregnant, verbal abuse, physical intimidation, a drug and alcohol history... all of which we worked on in therapy and got through but ... I am still resentful at times and I guess I feel like this is just one more decision being forced upon me.
__________________
--Jade, 31yo single f
Neverwhere - soon-to-be-ex-husband. We have a 4yo son together.
Amanda - Neverwhere's 1st wife and one of the reasons my marriage to him ended. She lives with him.
Mark - Neverwhere's brother and my roommate
Reply With Quote