Wow Redpepper! Talk about evolving! Sounds like there have been some major changes in your thinking and loving taking place. I can't argue with them as they more closely fit my definition of poly. Maybe my defintion like Mono's is just so much more closely entwined with the "norm" we were all brought up with, than so many of the free spirited, free swinging people already entrenched in this lifestyle?
In this situation as in life we all seem to change and go our separate ways. In each stage of life we are closer to a certain group of people, circumstances change (kids stop going to scouts, etc) and we lose contact with that group as we wonder into another stage of our lives. In raising our kids I have found that to be only natural and it has occurred about 3 different times in 18 years. Perhaps your poly group or you yourselves are now entering one of those stages?
Regardless, we continue along this journey (life), we do need others to travel with, we are not good alone. We can choose who we want to travel with. So what if we choose 1 partner or 2? or for some 3? The bottom line is we have these choices. I have chosen my two. I hope they continue to choose me, too. I sincerely hope you both continue in happiness along this journey, too.