Originally Posted by bofish
I feel you! And this question has been in my mind for awhile.
For me, personally, as a near middle age woman has been:
1. Married men wanting to cheat.
2. Youngsters who want to eventually get married.
3. Poly people already in a relationship.
4. Older men who are single (but there is a reason they are single! They tend to be quirky.)
5. Poly single people.
So, the only possible combinations for lasting relationship SEEM to bee someone who is young, single, and open to poly coming into our family. Or an older man who has been there done that and wants a lover wihtout a partner or an already married poly guy. (I actually only met one person like this).
Many of these combination seem hard to obtain. I think organically people want more of their lovers.
Yes. people break up and die. But there is a huge difference say with frieds - you expect one day they will die or break up...but the relationship is solitified in a different way that creates less anxiety. I guess I would ask (both OP and others) what the combinations might be?
The flip can be asked too; who only wants a short term relationship?
1) You don't want to invest a lot of effort into the relationship
2) You don't need a lot out of the relationship
3) Your circumstances will force it to be temporary regardless of what you want
So if you're in high school but plan on going to college 900 miles away? Or you're in college and you plan on moving four states away?
Or even as a young adult and you don't know what you want, who you want, etc, and the dating seen is an all you can eat buffet!
The last category is if you're unrooted, moving from job to job, state to state, career to career, and you don't know what you want to do with your life yet, and don't want to be tied nor want to tie up someone else.
Yet in all those situations, you still need affection, love, sex, etc.