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Old 11-18-2013, 04:26 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,713

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
But I'd be curious to know how many here go into a secondary relationship thinking, hoping, expecting, or planning that it might last a lifetime, that you might grow old with this person.
There was a thread a while back that I've been meaning to dig up in response to this one about what, essentially, are the limits of what a second partner can expect in a relationship.

I gave a long answer there ...but, in short, the only thing that is not available to Dude that MrS has is "legal marriage". Dude says he is here "for the long term" = not that that ensures that it will happen but that is everyone's intention. We all share a household/finances/responsibilities. I don't know that we had that expectation when we started out but ... we didn't set any limits on how far things could evolve. And here we are.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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