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Old 11-17-2013, 09:42 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,422

Greetings Spock and Please,
Welcome to our forum.

I see you've already a generous helping of sound thoughts and advice, right on this intro thread. Continue to read and post on our various threads and boards, and you'll continue get sound thoughts and advice.

@ Please ... it sounds like your feelings are floundering somewhat here and there with respect to what you really want and are looking for. It sounds like you're worried that polyamory could threaten the foundations of the very precious marriage you have with Spock.

I would suggest to you that education is your best friend: education, and interaction with experienced polyamorists who can warn you of which dangers are real versus imagined, as well as share cool tips of the trade that you can use should you decide to pursue this as-yet unusual form of romance.

Along those lines I suggest:
These resources will help you get started on the basics of polyamory (and open relationships in general). Having immersed yourself in all that stuff for awhile, you'll probably be in a better position to decide how you feel about polyamory, and whether it's right for you.

In addition, explore thoroughly in general. Post your thoughts, questions, and concerns as they arise. If a post of yours gets "lost in the shuffle," you can always post a fresh post so as to get yourself back to the top of the "New Posts queue." is a crazy-busy site so be patient with us, but more often than not your posts will be heard and answered (with good and helpful guidance and moral support).

@ Spock ... it sounds like what you need most right now is a close local friend and confidant who understands/accepts polyamory and who can spend some quality time with you talking you through the fears and uncertainties that naturally come with any great change (and changing over from monogamy to polymory is a gigantic change). Whether they be a romantic or platonic friend, you just need someone who can lend you some of the attention you're missing from Please.

Along those lines, I suggest looking for the closest possible poly social group in your area. Some poly folks who get together monthly (or more) for socials and potlucks would be great.
... are some links you could start with, in searching for such groups.

Also, you can google "polyamory" with the name of your state or city (or nearby major city), and see if some additional poly groups might not pop up for you to check out and join. is definitely also a place you can turn to for poly-friendly friendship; but in addition to (whose members are spread around the globe), you also need people who are "real" and closeby, who you can see and touch. That's why I say, check out those links, and do that googling.


"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek,
Hope that helps.
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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