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Old 03-25-2010, 06:10 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by Honestheart View Post
and yes, part of me thinks that people use "poly" as a way to "legitimize" having cake and eating it too...
What's wrong with having your cake and eating it too? What's the point of having cake you can't eat? And if you're eating someone else's cake, well that's just stealing...

I'm only half being facetious... I think that poly IS having your cake and eating it too! You get to be in love with different people AND you get to do it without guilt. You get more faith that your lovers are not cheating on you, because they don't have to. Which brings us to...

Originally Posted by Honestheart View Post
basically what i am saying is though this general discussion i am finding out that in a poly relationship you can have an affair/cheat. call it what you want, it is possible.
Absolutely. I think of cheating as having another relationship or random sexual encounter that your partner doesn't know about but would want to, whether or not they would approve of it if they did know. So that excludes "don't ask don't tell" agreements, because they've agreed it's ok and that they don't want to know about it. And if you think your partner would be ok with it if they knew, but you keep it from them, then that's definitely still cheating.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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