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Old 03-25-2010, 05:58 AM
korindino korindino is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 45
Default Day 1 of better choices

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your outpouring of positivity and support. I need every bit of help I can get. Stoicism is one of my major downfalls.

I should explain why I'm doing this now, after I've tried and failed before. It's a combination of little things.

Work has been more than a little stressful lately. A visit from our area manager a few weeks ago has left my boss in a position where she's scared for her job--and that high-strung, nagging feeling she has about it is getting passed onto us. I'm finally getting a weekend after 9 days back to back at work, 9 days in which I got further and further behind in my monthly goals. I was on my feet 9 hours a day, running around like a mad chicken, only to get chewed out for all the things I had missed or accidetally overlooked--and ignored for everything I did well.

I realized at that moment that while my dream of going back to grad school and moving on to teaching was there, I haven't taken a damned step towards it since I left college last July. I realized I needed to move towards that, but for the last few months I've found myself so physically and mentally exhausted that I haven't put forth any of the effort needed. I know that I have something yet undiagnosed. Lately I've been feeling huge highs and lows around meals--I'm dizzy and exhausted and withdrawn when I'm hungry, and after eating I have intense headaches and nausea. I never have any energy, and while I know part of it is my diet, I sometimes wonder if my body isn't processing what I eat correctly.

This is part of what is leading me to make these changes. The other part is that I cleaned out my fridge the other day. It was shocking. I had three heads of lettuce, a bag of carrots, some leeks, a head of broccoli, and three tomatoes that had all been left to rot while I was eating banquet meals and fast food instead. After cleaning the fridge, here's what I had left: ketchup, mayo, chocolate syrup, three plastic lemons full of lemon juice, a gallon of milk, some leftover chinese takeout, and five bags of shredded cheese.

This is all part of spring cleaning for me.

Today's smart and productive decisions:
-bought new produce--including bagged salad because it eliminates the "prep work" excuse.
-brewed some tea and iced it for work instead of my traditional 2-liter.
-packed some chicken and rice soup and whole wheat crackers for dinner at work today instead of eating mall food.
-Kashi for breakfast.
-did some dishes instead of sleeping in.

Slips/areas for improvement
-frozen pizza for dinner last night, ate the leftovers as late-night snack/next-day lunch.
-didn't eat my yogurt.
-didn't get my 30 minutes of fresh air. (Will sleep with a window open tonight though to air out the apartment/get a little freshness.)
-bought a pretzel when I stopped to get a cup of ice on my way into work.
-ate cereal for dinner. Definitely behind on my proteins today.
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