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Old 03-25-2010, 05:40 AM
lovebird13 lovebird13 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 15
Default Having a hard time...help

Hey, I would love some feedback from experienced polys. I've been really happy swinging for about 3 years. I've had ongoing lovers but I haven't really connected in a big way with any of them. And it was intentional. 'Keep your heart where it belongs...in your chest,' was my motto.

In Dec. I was invited to a party in CA and I met a couple who I liked alot. She actually brought me out to be his birthday present. Then she sent him out to CO as my Valentine present. We had 5 days alone and it was completely like falling down the rabbit hole of love love love. I allowed myself to be and say "In love" for the first time in 5 years.

The distance is hard and my emotions are out of control. I got back from CA a week ago. It was sooo different sharing him. She and I really connected, but as friends, not lovers although we played a lot as a threesome. We are all beginners at poly.

The whole experience was very stressful for all of us. His stress was trying to please us both. Hers was the insecurity of seeing her man so enamoured of me and mine was not getting him alone enough and worrying about her feelings.

I spent a lot of today processing and soul searching. At one point, I felt very close to breaking it off. Then minutes later, I'm happy and grateful for this amazing experience of LOVE.

I feel crazy, confused, euphoric, obsessed....all of it. Throw hormonal imbalance into the mix and you have one crazed woman!! Any insight anyone has will be gratefully received.
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