Thread: Sailing Solo
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Old 11-17-2013, 05:04 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 838

The concert was fabulous, he played a 3 hour set. I was so moved by the music. Simply wonderful. I was very glad I took the morning off work as I didn't get back to 1:30 am.

New guy is fun to hang out with, he did make a few comments about not usually dating "tall skinny" girls, he likes them "chubby and short". Fabulous 3 of them. I get we all have a preferred type, but do we need to point out how the other person does not fit into that!

New guy loves to text. He is very good at it, very sweet, full of compliments, totally highlighted how crap I am at expressing myself.

Apropos of this...Prof came round Wednesday. Said lots of sweet complimentary things, I replied with yes, very kind and thank-you. Thought about it after he left, and sent a text saying I found him very attractive, considered out time together important and special too, and that I should have said so at the time.

I am so lacking in this skill. I am good at verbally praising and being appreciative of acts and behaviours, but terribly poor at the general physical and personality type compliments. I understand that people like them, I like to hear them! But find it hard to spontaneously come out with similar.
Funny how dating highlights the flaws.

Prof has found himself a job to do with S. It is connected with one area of his research and could genuinely help. I am glad he has found a focus for his energy and mind. He is a solutions based person and needs to be constructive. I saw a difference in him on Weds, a bit more positive.
I do wonder at the lack of interaction between us between meetings.

Dirtclustit necroed an old post from a tertiary struggling with the commitments of her 2 BFs who were in existing primary type relationships. Much thought on this and the replies.

I don't really feel an much of an emotional connection to Prof. I am forever contemplating breaking up with him. I feel somewhat duped with the rules, and being told that they were working at relaxing them and removing a few. It hasn't happened and is not likely too at this point. I don't think trying to renegotiate is an option at this time either. So I it let it drag on. Of course the whole situation with S means I feel like breaking up with him right now would be doubly hurtful. I like him, enjoy his company, he says I am important to him and our time is special. I think I don't feel and have never felt that he would be there for me if I needed him. His responsibility is to S first.

Funny that Kip is in the same situation, but I do feel like he would make time for me in a crisis, as long as it was Monday-Friday 8-5:50. I know I could call him after hours if I needed to. I have never felt that with Prof.
Maybe I could talk to him, but again feel that it was adding a burden to an already overloaded person.

And I have noticed the connection with my lack of communication and not having needs met. The man is not psychic. I will say something this week, "there is no try, only do or do not." Yoda.

Kip is very interested in New Guy, firmly in the camp of not telling him about him and Prof until he asks. Kip said he is happy to wait on the sidelines if I want to pursue in a mono style, laughing hysterically was the implication. He thinks there is no way one man will keep me happy. Yo and Prof have also said the same.

But interesting view from the couple-centric side of the fence. Kip does not want me to have anal with new guy, said my "ass is his". As we are nowhere near that point I avoided answering, haven't even got naked yet. Haven't talked STD status. More conversation needed. Argh, any conversation needed.
I need to take a communication class, this is really getting pathetic.
Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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