Originally Posted by Magdlyn
What is YOUR motivation for wanting a formal declaration of exclusivity from your wife and gf? It's early days yet with the gf, isn't it? A few months of dating/having sex? What would be so terrible about your gf having another lover outside the triad? What if another woman caught your eye? After all, 3 already did...
Hi Magdlyn. I suppose I HAVE implied that it's me with a desire for exclusivity, but I haven't meant to. This isn't about me, actually, and I'd sure be a hypocrite if I asked for exclusivity when I'm not (because of my long distance relationship with EL).
My question comes from observing the flow of our several relationships. What I'm seeing with the three of us is that we are moving in the direction of exclusivity. I mean, nobody's sleeping with anyone outside us three (except me, who rarely sees EL). And yet we're not exclusive, with AM in a transition space in her life, where she isn't sure what comes next. She wants something deeper and more connected with the two of us, on the one hand, and wants freedom on the other. I'm okay with both - we're not sure yet which direction we're headed. Sure, my wife has concerns about safe sex, but that's a detail separate from the principle of AM having a lover...
As for another woman catching my eye, I gotta admit. I'm full up here. I got nothing left, no space for attention to others. I'm kinda flooded, in a good way, if that makes any sense. In the future, maybe again. But right now?! Good lord, no way!