View Single Post
Old 11-17-2013, 09:40 AM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 838

Originally Posted by pulliman View Post

I can imagine there are some triads that are monogamous to the triad (i.e., closed, poly-fi). How do three people negotiate that moment? In a binary couple, someone might propose to someone else, or you have The Talk about exclusivity, or whatever it might be. How does a triad do that?
Not sure why the desire to be 'exclusive' if as Poly people you accept that exclusive does not equal commitment. I wonder about the desire to fall into the safety of monogamous thinking and behaviours that seem safe but are actually attitudes extracted from the status quo, like having to have a 'talk' about exclusivity "You're mine now.....".

Also if a marriage between the original couple did not indicate lifelong exclusivity (obviously or we wouldn't be here) why does a proposal to the new partner/relationship indicate exclusivity?

Why not leave it up to each individual to determined what commitment means to them without having to mould it into standards that suit the will of one?

Just my tuppence.
Reply With Quote