Sounds like some things are in limbo right now but you are all three trying to take baby steps toward the eventual objective.
"He mentioned to her that I was up by 5:1 ..."
Up by 5:1? I'm confused; what does he mean by that ratio expression? 5:1 in what sense? Sleepovers perhaps?
In any case, I hope he won't get too obsessed with this scorekeeping thing.
"Wanting to tell her to focus on him when with him and not spend so much time texting me but also not wanting to tell her that because I'm a big part of her support network and what if she really needs me."
I guess I'd just tell her to go easy on the texts unless/until she feels especially needful of hearing from you? That's the best I can think of.