Butch and Murf sound like two equal relationships...so you don't agree with boundaries, fluid-bonding, and other such stuff for secondary relationships? I liken going sex parties to this.
I maybe should go to the party, But I feel very sex negative, not positive. My experiences of sex in my life have largely been tied to parents abandoning me for lovers, friends dying of hIV, a best friend being a domestic abuse victim... I have had no role models for 'healthy' sex.
My husband going to a sex party makes me feel bad and alienated from him and not wanting to fuck him in a relationship that already is sexually tentative at best. I don't really want people who hang out at sex parties around my kids.
I WANT to view sex parites as OK, but i just don't. It's not a moral reaction, it's a visceral one.
Also, the primary issue is WE made an agreemnt, they both disrespected it. I feel worthless.