How do you tell another couple....That your wife and you....AND them....are all poly?
Here's the deal:
My wife and I have been "dating" this couple for a while now. We told them when we all got together the first time, that we like to remain exclusive with one couple, but that we don't ask them to be that way if they don't wish to be. Well, they were fine with that.
Fast forward about 2 years.
We are still dating them, and sleeping with them. A while back, we mentioned to them that we were thinking that we are more "poly" than "swingers". They shut down. The went silent and literally didn't speak much back to us other than the occasional "yeah" or "no". Things got REALLY awkward. Well, the female of the other cpl was diagnosed with HPV. (We always use condoms) She felt it necessary to let us know about it, and was VERY apologetic about it. We were like "It's not your fault. We're here to help you through this. We really love you guys both."
Well, she had a part of her cervix removed, which apparently removed all of the cancer from her cervix.
In passing, I told her that it looks like we'll just be having sex with them as a couple from now on. She laughed and said yeah. You guys are the only ones we sleep with now anyway. We haven't slept with anyone else for like 2 months. We love you guys too."
This sounded GREAT to us. Then.....We mentioned the "p" word again..."polyamory".....And they shut down again.
This is perplexing to my wife and I. We love this couple. We do a lot of things together. We do a lot of things with their kids and our kids together. We love their kids....and they love ours. We tried to tell them that we are all living a poly lifestyle, but they seem to not want to accept it.
The other night, we went out with them and mentioned that we went to a poly support group...They went silent again!
We love them....but this "word" seems to be making them shut down. We want to be able to commit ourselves to them, and them to us.....but now we don't think it will ever happen and this saddens us.