Originally Posted by Norwegianpoly
Ok, so your husband dated his ex-wife under your roof and still think you dating his brother is a little bit over the top? Seems you both have a preferance for what is close at hand and he is not one to judge you. Anyhow, I know some family poly relationships may work, like some mormon-related families I have seen. Personally, I would not like it at all if my husband dated one of my sisters - but he knows that and we would never engage in that in the first place. Now that you are in the relationship, you already have a responsability towards your boyfriend. I think it is fair to be able to veto a new/potentional lover in the very beginning (like I veto'ed a girl who totally behaved like she would take my place, acting jealous in public and what not), but not a clear-cut relationship. There you stay, and deal with the problems as they come along. Hopefully your husband will find ways to deal with it. Best of luck
so the ex wife thing, .... I have brought that up, but he says that was my idea. He's right that I suggested it. I knew she still had feelings for him and I figured the reverse could be true. Doesn't mean it was easy for me. Just like with his new gf.. She is mono and has a lot of insecurities so I let him break a lot of our rules with her at first because I knew he really liked her and I wanted it to work out.
I guess he say he tried to do the same with Mark and failed so now we should just stop because my husband tried and can't do it. At first he said no to Mark and I dating, much like your veto, but then rescinded and said we could.
At the end of the day we both want the other to be happy and that seems an impossibility right now because of whatever hang up he has with Mark.