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Old 11-16-2013, 06:42 PM
Dianthus Dianthus is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 11

if the boundaries aren't deal-breakers in and of themselves, you're setting yourselves up for some really unattractive rules-lawyering by setting a punishment for breaking the rule in advance. Firstly, you're planning to have your rules broken, which is never a good baseline to start from.

And secondly, you're inviting thought patterns like "Well, I really want to do X with Y tonight, but it breaks the rules. But if I break the rules, I know that Z is going to be the punishment, and yeah... I guess it's worth putting up with that punishment to get my way right now." That sort of transactional thinking can really mess up a relationship. Plus, it doesn't say anything good about the strength behind your rules or your mutual understanding and agreement about why they're there in the first place.
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