Originally Posted by GalaGirl
I'm sorry you struggle.
[*]Are you asking me to tell you why I am with you and what I see in you? If so, I could try to list.[/LIST]
when you ask me like "would you still have gotten together with me without my sex skills" it seems kinda "hinty" and seems to assume I'm a user. That bothers me because I have my own past relationship buttons that can be pushed. I could be taking it wrong and that might not be your intent. So... let's sort that out.
Could sort that out, and then could ask
"How would you like me to approach you next time we see each other? Would you welcome me flirting next time? Or initiating sex? I want to treat you the way you want to be treated, but I'm not sure now what you would like from my behavior toward you. I want to be with you, but I don't want to push buttons."
Thanks for your practial approcah, Galagirl. I often give him compliments, or make him lists of things I like about him! He loves that. I even have like I special book that I made with 52 reasons (like a deck of cards), only I can not send it to him before he gets back from his family, but I think he will like it. And I also, right before he asked this question, we were talking about when we met and I gave him a lot of reasons why I was into him and still am. I guess I feel that he does not trust me...
I could talk to him about my own relationship buttons. There was really no time to do it laste we spoke, because we ended the Skype conversation quickly after he could get some sleep. I could make a point at talking to him about it tomorrow. He knows I had some bad stuff going with the ex (and really my other ex as well), but he does not know the specificities of that other than that I felt hurt from it. I guess if I want him to share, I must share first
The last point will be the hardest I think. I guess it is my own bottons being pushed, together with the still fresh NRE and all the insecurites that may come from that
. I suspect that I even before this felt a bit hurt that he was not initiating sex for some time, even though he always says he misses to be with me. And I was like putting it on hold since I knew he was busy with his family, but I long for him too. It could be that he is not so keen on doing it online anymore because it makes him miss me more, I don't know. Still it feels so awkward and I feel really rejected now nwhich will make it hard to raise the subject next time. It is a little bit like I don't want to see him anymore ever
(a bit dramatic, I will come to my senses), it makes me angry just to think about it, I will have to work on turning myself around enough to be able to talk