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Old 11-15-2013, 05:23 PM
AnonymousMe AnonymousMe is offline
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 7

First, let me say that you sound, by your posts, quite calm, rational, and emotionally well composed with this whole new situation. If that is the case then I think you are in quite a good position for making the transition from your expected mono lifestyle to the new one (assuming that it is in fact a transition you want to make).

I have also found it very difficult to meet people, especially if you are looking for a straight women (sorry to generalize but it does seem to be the case), and if you are an introvert by nature. So if it helps at all, you arent the only one in this boat!

Having someone to talk to is very important. You shouldnt feel as though talking to your wife about your feelings, needs, and this new situation is monopolization, and I dont personally think that your wife should feel that way either. Just so long as the conversations are as even keeled as your posts and the topic isnt something that is the one constant point of discussion in your lives (even though it might be the singular focus in your mind most hours of most days).

You should also think about opening up to some of your other close friends or maybe family, provided your wife would be comfortable with that as well. Ironically enough once we started talking to people we have found out that, within our social circle, my wife and I are not the only ones with an open marriage!

The funny thing is, you may find that poly fits you more than you expect. My wife felt very similarly to you when I brought my needs to the table about 6mo ago. She always expected to be with me and only me, in love and devoted. But now, we are both happier than we have been in over a decade and more devoted and in love with each other than every before. She has meet several people, connected with a few of them, and now finds herself in a world where she has to remind herself that not everyone is open/poly!

Good luck in your journey. Just remember that there are a lot of people on here (and even more in the world beyond this forum), many of whom either have shared or are currently sharing your same experiences. You will always find people here to talk to and the advice you will get is almost always sound.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Finding a close friend, particularly for an introvert, is a long term process that is generally not fast. You have to get out there and meet people - most of whom will not become a acquaintance, much less a good deep friendship. It's a bit like dating - you have to put into the time to get yourself out there so you have the opportunity to meet people you may click with. I'm working on this myself. Honestly it's kind of annoying. I keep reminding myself that it will be worth it in the long run.
^^ This +1

Last edited by AnonymousMe; 11-15-2013 at 05:25 PM. Reason: Added quote from opalescent
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