I'm still hurt and feeling disrespected because he didn't tell me about her or that he was looking, and that his friends knew and covered for him. Especially because it happened once before (while I was pregnant), and swore afterwards he would never hurt me like that again.
(He met a woman (B) while at a destination wedding, they had an affair for a few months. I had no idea until he broke up with me and confessed that being in love with her was the reason. We were separated for most of the pregnancy, but since then we've worked things out (obviously)...)
He says that he's not in love with W (the new friend) like he was with B, and he'd never let things get that serious again. But there are times where I feel I can't trust him, like I'm only here because it's "cheaper-to-keep-her".
Originally when we talked about having an open relationship, it was something we were going to do together (swinging, etc), and we agreed that there would be no sneaking around or secrets. Since then it's happened twice.
I don't want to break up our family, but lately whenever he and I are alone we're either f*cking or fighting. We'll talk things through, be okay for a while, and then it starts all over again. I feel like pulling my hair out most of the time, my self-esteem has hit an all-time low... :'-(