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Old 11-15-2013, 04:16 PM
Spock Spock is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: East Bay California
Posts: 134

Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
You might want to settle down and figure out if you really are OK with this. Sometimes people only feel they have unmet needs because their spouse does. And that is a very normal reaction to have.
I understand. I have needs for affection, companionship, and attention, pretty much like everyone does, but want to involve other people expressly so my wife doesn't carry the burden. I mentioned my dad's passing; he was my best friend and I think what I need is another best friend, more than a lover or girlfriend, but the reason I'm choosing poly is that I can't really talk about my situation with someone who isn't also poly.

Sometimes it is less about the sex and the feeling of falling in love, and more about craving some time without having to be responsible.
She and I have discussed that briefly. She really enjoys not being responsible sometimes and she pouts when I drag her back into the grind because she has a job, bills, and kids (with me!) together. At the end of the day, however, she really does want that job, her kids, and of course me.

Also, I do believe it is all of the love, the sex, and the freedom, since she is taking some of the NRE from her flirting/dating and channeling it into our own love life, as well as admitting she wants more than that.

Being a parent is an awful lot of responsibility that if you two don't find healthy ways to relieve that pressure and get a "vacation" from those responsibilities you will find yourselves filled with resentment and bitter

and it is something all parents have to deal with, I guess you need to take a moment to honestly figure out whether or not you will be able to handle this. It would really help of your wife chimed in too, as it almost sounds as if both of you are having trouble being getting relief from the pressure of life
That is also something we are working on. We only started dating again this year after 6 years of raising two kids nonstop.

Was she honestly upset that the flirting was returned?
She kind of flirting with guys she had crushes on, so yeah I think that would have been disappointing if they didn't return it affection.

that is being respectful until they understand that you are OK with that.
Oh, those guys were totally respectful about it (and in general it's a great trait because it means they aren't cheaters/adulterers/scum).

It sounds like your wife is in such a need to get a break from being responsible, that she is about to pop

might want to take some deep breathes, you really need to figure out what is really going on and how you are going to deal with it
We are working on it.
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