I find it interesting your views on our poly meetings mono.... I find that they really are following a group mentality. we have some strong players in that group, one of which is young (25?) well... younger than us anyways, who definitely has a view of poly that is different than ours... her idea is to find more and more lovers and spend her days nursing all those relationships.... okay, she lives on a disability pension and has TIME! we all don't have, besides I wonder if she has ever experienced the all consuming nature of really being in love. I certainly have with mono to the point where the thought of being intimate with anyone else seems shocking and unnatural. even with my husband... never mind any of my other intimate friends. Her opinion has definitely influenced our group!
I think the group is going through a romance really. We all met about six months ago and kind of dated and got to know each other... now we are going through a bit of a stage where we are on the verge of branching off our attentions to individuals... I'm sure some dates have come out of it and I know some friendships have (with the possibilities of more to follow maybe?).
The BBQ we went to on Canada day (july 1st) was an example of the group dividing... we hung out, all three of us and our boy, at one of the members houses and got to know each other better as individuals. I think a division in the group is beginning by the fact that we congregate to those who we feel comfortable with too.
I'm interested to see what will come out of it all and whether or not there is a break up at the end of it and we will all go our separate ways.
I sometimes wish we didn't involve ourselves in it all as I have a very fragile heart sometimes and take things very personally when things don't work out with people. I can't seem to leave it and say "oh well" *shrug* I beat myself up about it for days and mourn. I get a great sense of loss. I sometimes think it's better to just not be involved.
I wonder too if being involved has changed our path? I don't think so but.... really, when it is just us three we do a lot better sometimes... things run more smoothly. But then again there is that dratty thing called "wanting to fit in." I want community and I want to fit in.... I am hoping to find that in our group. Not necessarily with the whole group, but with new friends made from the group....
this is all going off topic kinda.... but I believe I started this thread so.... so there!