Yeah, I'm starting to read around the forum, but I also just needed to talk to someone too. I don't feel comfortable bringing this up with friends so I've been feeling isolated.
She just kind of dived in and started several months ago under the pretext of going out for drinks with co-workers, and then being terribly upset when they wouldn't reciprocate her flirting (she was married, after all!)
We've talked about it and have both read the Ethical Slut after that; she has since then clarified and brought up that she misses the feeling, the rush, of falling in love, and that she really wants two cocks at once, and that she is in love with a co-worker who explicitly told her to:
1) Read the Ethical Slut
2) Talk to me
3) Said he just wanted to be friends
On my part I understand that I have clung to her entirely too much; that I had assumed as part of marriage that I was supposed to dedicate all of my attention towards her and that she is exhausted from it. I think part of the fun of dating is just getting a break from me. That still leaves me with unmet needs however since I had chosen to dedicate all of my attention to her, then now I need to find others to spend time with.
Short answer, no, I don't really need a second relationship except that my wife is unable to sustain/support the amount of attention and affection I ask of her sometimes.
And, yes, we have been taking it slow, insofar as she is concerned. I could probably say no outright and that would make her very unhappy.