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Old 11-15-2013, 04:37 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,868

My husband, MrS, has depression, or more likely Biplolar Tyype II and is currently being treated (still adjusting meds)and I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (currently controlled with meds). I've often thought that my boyfriend, Dude, is somewhere on the autism spectrum (undiagnosed...and I understand that is no longer the accepted nomenclature). Yet, somehow, it has managed to work so far...

When MrS gave his blessing to me pursuing "something" with Dude we both understood (and discussed) that there was "no going back" from that decision...that it would be unfair to invite someone into a relationship and then "take it back". is reasonable to ask someone to take a break from meeting new potentials or cool it with people that are just in the "potential" arena. But, if there is already a "relationship-in-progress" then I think it IS unfair to ask that to scale back to something different...I don't think that you can "un-do" that....i.e. to me, it seems reasonable to ask for a "freeze" but not an "erasure"....

Recently we come upon a situation where it feels right to "close" a portion of our poly, Dude, and Lotus have agreed that it would be better to NOT add any new partner's to the mix...MrS and Lotus's husband TT are NOT a part of this agreement - they are free to pursue whatever relationships they normally would.(*)


(*) I keep meaning to blog about this...but I am still sorting some things out...

PS. for those of you who live in areas (like I do) that have limited sunlight for portions of the year... I recommend looking into obtain they type of "full-spectrum" bright lights that are used for SAD ("Seasonal Affective Disorder")...we are all night-owls so this is not as much of an issue but I know a number of people who have used them successfully... like cardio, the potential down-sides are minimal.
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 11-15-2013 at 04:40 AM.
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