Originally Posted by keiokaki
i on the other hand think you are an awesome person and should keep trying, there needs to be more single poly's because with out a single poly there is no way for us couples who want to equally share our love with someone to do that. That sucks about you feeling secondary, i don't believe in heirarchy myself i like things to be equal and full of love
Thanks for the compliment
But I have to say, this kind of illustrates the issue that single people have. Is the only role for a single person in poly communities to be an add-on for couples who want to share? That dynamic in itself creates unequal ground, even with the best of intentions on the part of a couple. Individual relationships develop on their own, not with a mandate that one must love both members of a couple equally...that's a pretty tall order to put on a potential partner. Also, why must the potential third be single? Wouldn't a poly person who may already have another partner or partners also be just as available?
I acknowledge that it works out nicely for some people, but for many others it doesn't.
Like I said before, it's easy for single bi poly girls to feel like accessories to couples. I'm looking for people to love, not package deals.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding a bit harsh, because I do realize you posted that with the best of intentions, but I guess I need to voice these issues.