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Old 11-15-2013, 12:27 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Depression is often a repeat problem and it's not realistic to ask someone to repeatedly take a break from their life because yours is in the shitter.

That said;
I suffer from depression and I'm poly.

One thing I like to point out-is that there is a HUGE difference between asking a partner to stop dating other people with whom they ALREADY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP for a time while you deal with a temporary problem
&
asking them to stop considering NEW potentials for a time while you deal with a temporary problem
&
asking them for some extra tlc while you are dealing with a temporary problem.

I tend to be against the first for many reasons. Primarily-it's disrespectful to the other partners. Period.

But-the bottom two I support in a lot of scenarios.

Now-for the depression part;
You NEED NEED NEED to manage your self care.
That means enforcing healthy eating AND DAILY CARDIO EXERCISE no matter what.

The cardio exercise helps depression better than any other known thing scientists have yet tested-with almost no side effects.
It's critical.

Your depression will drive you not to.
But-depression AND anxiety are both reduced IN THE MOMENT with cardio exercise of 20 minutes. In both cases, daily exercise actually changes the chemicals in your body to help reduce depression going forward.

It's a NECESSITY. We make a million excuses why we can't fit exercise into our routines. But especially if we suffer from depression and/or anxiety-those excuses are deadly.

So if you really want to find some solutions regarding your relationship; it sounds like the key factor negatively impacting it is the depression. Which means your focus needs to be on the depression. Not on how to change the dating situation.

Also, sunlight. Unobscured by window or sunscreen for 20-40 minutes daily can help.

Vitamin D3-10000 iu to 20000 iu a day can make a huge difference (do not get to 40000iu a day, that can cause health issues from overdose of D).

Schedule a walk every single day-outdoors if at all possible.

grab a notebook and every night before bed-write 3 things that went right or were good that day.

While suffering depression, we tend to forget the positive things. We need reminders, writing them down before bed helps and then when we are feeling worse-we can go back and read them.

Consider what kind of music you listen to, what you are reading, watching on tv. Needs to be happy, not depressing, problematic or stressful.
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