Typical steps in three-person relationships
I have a question for those who have successfully formed three-person relationships in which all three people are intimately (perhaps sexually) connected to each other - with three functioning couples as well as some sort of a triad thing going on.
I've read through a LOT of the past entries on these topics, but honestly feel I've missed stuff - either good threads or really meaningful responses that people might have written as part of larger conversations. Pointers to those would be great. What's on my mind, right now, is a question about how those (for sake of using a single word) triads came to be, what steps happened to get you to where you are right now.
For example, it's obviously rare to have a three-person first date lead to love at first sight; let's assume a couple started out and a third person joined in somehow. How did that happen and how did the "new" person joining lead to a new balance of interactions? (I'm purposefully trying to avoid "couple-centric" language, because I'm asking about how that original couple stopped being JUST that couple...)
I can imagine there are some triads that are monogamous to the triad (i.e., closed, poly-fi). How do three people negotiate that moment? In a binary couple, someone might propose to someone else, or you have The Talk about exclusivity, or whatever it might be. How does a triad do that?
I ask these questions as I am thinking about the ever-tightening connections between WI, AM, and me. So far, so good, but it's nice to gain stories that others have experienced. I'm not sure we'll end up "monogamous" to the triad, but we're kind of headed there (with EL still a part of my life, long distance). Stories, advice, and insights would be great. Thanks!