Hello from the Ottawa area... Kinda feeling lost here
Bit of a poly-virgin here, not really sure where to start... Sorry if it's a bit long
So I'm engaged to a wonderful man, and for the past month or so we've (he's) been experimenting with making this an open relationship. It's something we discussed when we first started dating, but not in great detail. Neither of us have tried this in the past, and I'm not sure I'm handling it as well as I thought I would. Anyone reading this has probably read the same thing a thousand times in this forum, lol
I know part of the problem I'm having is that he opened an account on lavalife, chatted, met, and slept with the woman he's seeing-on-the-side for a few months before I found out (he forgot to delete some text messages and I confronted him). We talked it over, and decided that he could keep seeing her, as long as there were no more secrets or sneaking around (he'd been telling me he was going out with friends when he was meeting up with her). He said he wasn't sure how to tell me, didn't want to upset me, etc....
He's told me that he'll break it off with her if I ask him to, but I know from previous conversations that he'll eventually be miserable again and will most likely find someone else to replace her. He says he loves me, doesn't want our relationship to end (especially since we have children together), and said that if I met someone and wanted to play-on-the-side he would be okay with it.
Maybe I'm crazy for staying, and I very well could be, but here I am! Right now I'm just looking for advice and maybe to rant a bit. I'm not interested in anything outside the relationship myself, but I want to be more accepting of him being with other women. I know I have a few issues of my own to work on (postpartum depression, etc), so I'm not sure if we should try counseling as a couple or if I should go on my own and see what happens. I can't seem to shake the jealousy...
Well, if anyone has managed to get through all that, thank you, lol. Any input is welcome!