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Old 11-14-2013, 04:25 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,445

It really does take a village.

Plan it out.

When are you going back to paid work outside the home?

Who will come and hold the baby every night because she hasnt let you put her down all day and youre still in your nightgown, no shower and have barely eaten? This "dont put me down" need can happen at any age, newborn, teething time, when she has a cold, etc.

Do you have other relatives or friends or paid babysitters or daycare of some kind to fill in when your sperm donor isnt around?

As above, do you plan to breastfeed (at least a year of breastfeeding is every baby's birthright)? Pumping and giving the milk to your co-parent or other caregiver to feed to baby is HARD WORK, but doable. So, if bio-dad wants overnights with the baby before one year, know you are taking on a challenge. And many breastfed babies need/want more than one year of snuggly nighttime breastfeedings.

How involved in parenting does your lover want to be? Would there be an option to live together for a while, or at least do lots of overnights in the early months?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixie (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (single, poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's bf for 5 years
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